In February I heard a wonderful keynote from two presenters who were invited to our district where I’m employed full-time. They helped us to crosswalk gender identity with sexual orientation so as not to conflate the two as they often don’t follow strict lines within people. I’m not going to get into the weeds with that because Myron’s story is about gender identity and the character is 8-years-old, but I think that having some discussion about gender is important.
What’s gender?
Advocatesforyouth.org defines it as cultural and societal perceptions of biological sex and how one identifies and expresses gender.
Why does it matter?
Having gender expression that feels comfortable and matches internal states is not a simple thing. It’s important to be able to dress the way that you want to and feel comfortable expressing yourself as you’re moving through your day.
Well-meaning adults sometimes say, “That’s a girl’s outfit,” to youngsters who were born male who are wearing specific colors or something like a tutu or skirt. Children play with clothing, accessories and even ways of walking or talking. Labelling expression of dress or manner can impact a child.
When you were growing up, how did you identify your gender? Did your gender match your sex that was assigned at birth? What types of gender stereotyping is common?
Myron and friends 
When you were growing up, how did you identify your gender?
I think as a kid I always thought I was a girl. However I always wished there was a button i could press to switch at will.
Did your gender match your sex that was assigned at birth?
sort of? Sometimes I feel like a girl, or a woman, or femme, and that matches, but other times I felt out of place. I definitely got a lot of messaging about being a girl, but also that girls can do anything so it wasn’t as limiting.
What types of gender stereotyping is common?
performing femininity like wearing dresses or make up, or that i always got dolls but my brothers got hot wheels
I like the magic button idea!
I can relate to being out of place and feeling like societal messaging didn’t always–and still doesn’t–match my emotions.
Gender in toys and play is such an important consideration!
When my now teenage daughter was in preschool, her favorite color was blue. One day she came home and said her new favorite color was pink. After asking more about the sudden switch, she let me know that her teacher told her that blue is a boy color.
I love that I’ve been able to hang out with all different versions of Rachel!
Hahahahaha. Except you didn’t know me as a child… I thought that I was a boy until puberty. Then, I knew it was different.
That’s so sad that your daughter was convinced that color had gender! Thank you for your comment.